Old Stupidities

Tech support: "What Operating System are you running?"
Customer: "????"
Tech support: "Do you have a Mac or a PC?"
Customer: "Um, I don't know."
Tech support: "OK. What does the screen look like?"
Customer: "It's yellow."
Tech support: "OK. What does it say on the computer CPU?"
Customer: "What's that?"
Tech support: "The big grey box."
Customer: "It doesn't say anything."
Tech support: "Never mind that...do you have a little 'Start' button at the bottom of the monitor?"
Customer: "Monitor?"
Tech support: "The thing that looks like a TV screen sitting on the grey box."
Customer: "Oh! That! No. No start button."
Tech support: "OK. Is there a little apple symbol anywhere on the screen?"
Customer: (very puzzled) "Why would I have fruit on my computer?"

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At least three people from our company have come to me panicked, almost crying. They all say, "I think I just erased a program!! Help!!" In reality, it turns out they just minimized the window. When I open it again, they gasp, "What did you DO?!?!?"

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Abu: "What's your operating system?"
Me: "Linux."
Abu: "You better uninstall it!"
Me: "Why?"
Abu: "The government uses Linux to look through your computer and see your every move. They use it as a security camera into your world."
Me: "Sure...."


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